Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
I cannot be okay
On this deathly silent day.
The leaves have left the trees,
Making sorrowful people drop to their knees.

There is no reason to be okay
As the sorrowful people say,
"Your heart no longer is fluttering—"
   The only words that can be heard
Through their mournful sputtering.
(As if they were the ones suffering.)

I think I'll be okay
On this deathly silent day.
Though, I am about as "okay"
As the stifling scent of decay.
A poem I wrote today for English.
The rules were:

It had to be 3-5 stanzas.
Each stanza had to have at least four lines.
I had to have a least one figure of speech.
I had to have at least one example of alliteration, assonance, and onomatopoeia.
demonrobber Featured By Owner May 15, 2012
I think this was a good exercise. I like the use of alliteration and onomatopoeia. I like the dark ending but I think the overall layout could be improved. Perhaps each stanza should have been four lines in length. You created a dark atmosphere but some of the lines made me smile. I think you have potential. Keep writing.
catzrcute Featured By Owner May 15, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks. ^^ That means a lot.
Add a Comment:

More from DeviantArt


Submitted on
May 10, 2012
File Size
636 bytes


4 (who?)